Mood: amorous
For I have kept the ways of the Lord,
And have not acted wickedly against my God"
~ David, in 2 Samuel 22:22
"I was also blameless toward him,
And I kept myself from my iniquity."
~ David, in 2 Samuel 22:24
Who is this guy kidding? Blameless? David? Didn't he keep multiple wives? Didn't he obtain one of those wives by arranging the death of her husband? And didn't that come about because he had had an affair with her outside her marriage and got her pregnant?
David? Blameless?
It's an established fact, recorded throughout Samuel and even by David himself in the Psalms, that our man is far from perfect, a sinner who has incurred the anger of God on more than one occasion. Yet in the passages above and in most of Samuel 22, David speaks of his blamelessness before God and the rewards he has reaped as a result. He speaks of God being on his side, swooping down and heaping blessings while He lays waste to the enemy. Even today, David is revered around the world as God's beloved, ancestor of Jesus, father of Solomon, defeater of the giant Goliath. He did much for the Lord, and he lived his life with God in his heart, even through those dark times of sinfulness.
And there is the key: David kept God in his heart.
What would happen if we could manage to keep God in our hearts through all our waking hours? What if we knew that he was dwelling within us, and that he was actually happy to be there? What if, in this world of sin and distraction, we knew that he was right there, ready to divert us back onto the right path? Would we stop sinning and finally, finally be perfect human beings?
Nope. That's not the way we're wired; if David can't live a sin-free life, what hope do we have?
However, if we do manage to keep God in our hearts we will develop what David had: a confidence that we're walking the correct path. We'll divert into sin just as David did, because that's what humans do. But through those moments of weakness, through those times when we're doing things our Lord finds odious, He is still with us, and we need to remain confident of that fact. Confident that God is with us every second of our lives. Confident that, even in the context of our indiscretions, he loves us as much as he did in our moments of glory. Confident that, as we grow with him in our hearts, our sins will become fewer and our refusals to be tempted more frequent. Confident that our Father loves us and everyone around us with a fervency that we can't begin to comprehend.
Satan's number one technique for breaking a believer is to erode that confidence and replace it with shame. Once shame creeps into our hearts, it begins to push God out. When we're ashamed, we don't pray as much because we're no longer "good enough." We feel unworthy of God's attention and would rather not call his judgment upon us by calling attention to ourselves. Eventually, we stop talking to Him altogether. We disconnect from His love, and though he wants to lavish it upon us we no longer feel as though we deserve it, and we block it from our lives.
Confidence in God's existence is a good thing. Confidence in His love is as essential as your next breath.
Father, I am a sinner. I am not always the person You want me to be; let's face it, I'm *rarely* the person You want me to be. But I am Yours, Lord, and I appreciate not only Your forgiveness but the fact that You want to dwell in my heart no matter what. Thank You for Your love, and thank You for giving me the confidence to love You back. Let me never feel too ashamed to speak with You, to pray to You, to keep You in my heart.
by Nik Nilsson